Mark Kolier’s Blog

Archive for August, 2009

Even my sixteen year old daughter immediately reaches for the car radio – albeit on short trips with me. I have not discounted that it may be due to a lack of desire or interest in having an actual conversation with me. And on longer trips she’s quick to fire up the I-pod while she sends text messages seemingly at a never ending pace. But on shorter trips she always turns on the radio to hear what might be playing.

Maybe people enjoy the random nature of terrestrial radio – what might be on versus having your choice of all your IPod loaded songs. On terrestrial radio many people enjoy hearing the local feed of your favorite sports team, local news (or sort of local since if you live in the New York City area there is hardly ever any real local news about my small Connecticut town on the radio. Or you have multiple choices of opinion makers telling you what to think. So the choices are limited in quantity and quality, and service is limited geographically (cannot listen to WCBS in Kansas City now can you?)

I’ve previously blogged about satellite radio to which I do not subscribe. I had occasion last week to rent a car that was loaded with XM/Sirius. The interface is not all that great and you have to step through the stations one by one. Strange thing about satellite radio is that sort of like the 100+ channels I get on cable – there was very little I was interested in listening to. And I had a 90 minute ride more than once! And there are ads on satellite radio. Not as many as on terrestrial radio (which can have a constant string of ads) but there are shows like Howard Stern and Mad Dog unleashed that have commercials.

At $ 12.95/month I don’t spend enough time (thankfully) in the car to even consider satellite radio. But even if I did the value proposition has yet to be made evident to me.
Better interface, better user tools, more content (maybe magazines and newspapers could be subscribed to where you could have articles of interest read to you on command?), options for ads and no ads.

Finally – we have a station in the NYC area WINS news 1010 AM. It has been around for almost 45 years with its all-news-all-the-time format. For some reason, WINS continues to use the sound of teletype or typewriters in the background. My guess is they want to give the impression that news is coming in constantly. I don’t believe there are many people using teletype or typewriters at WINS. At least I sure hope not.

I noted in a previous post that I went to Gettysburg, PA for a Lincoln Leadership conference. The talk began by asking all of us if we thought Americans were good listeners. Most of us said no. Then when asked if we thought we ourselves were good listeners even fewer hands went up.

What Steve Wiley was pointing out was that most people are not really listening when someone else is talking they are simply waiting for the other person to stop so they can make their own point. In fact you can sit there pretending to listen, smiling, nodding your head but inside you can be thinking ‘I wish this guy would finish already because I already knew what he was going to say and really want to get MY point across’.

We all do this and do it all the time. We are often two and three thoughts ahead of the conversation at hand since our minds work so much faster than our mouths. (I have a friend who describes someone we know by saying ‘He thinks orally’ – not good).

So Steve came up with ‘Listen until it hurts’. Listen to the point where you almost cannot take it anymore. Your teeth begin to clench, your jaw tightens and you have had so many thoughts that you have even forgotten some of the really important things you wanted to say before the other person stops talking.

I think he’s right. People want to tell you what’s on their mind. What seems like HOURS might only be three minutes (and believe me it can be interminable). But by listening, REALLY listening, you can learn so much. We all have two ears and one mouth. Ever think about that?

Give it a try and let me know how it works out.

It’s easy to send an email to a friend, client or prospect. Your interrupted train of thought is transmitted with only the touch of a button.

Instant Messaging is a real time communication tool that has been around for quite a while and become even more popular with Facebook.

Text messaging by teens is the primary means of communication – or so it seems.

A telephone call takes a little more effort but at the very least is a better one-to-one exchange in real time.

Yet nothing replaces being there in person. That’s where lasting memories are built, richer experiences are enjoyed, and deeper relationships are seeded and solidified.

Now more than ever take the initiative and make that one to one in person connection that you have been putting off. Go to see that family member, get out there and visit with your clients – invite yourself and you will be pleasantly surprised at some of the welcomes you will receive.

During these difficult economic times travel budgets have been cut and virtual conferences have become increasingly popular. It’s NOT even close to being the same folks. Dare to be different. I happen to love going to see people and connecting and reconnecting. It never fails to re-energize me from the daily grind and I like to think that those I visit get something out of it as well.

We are fortunate today that travel is relatively easy – and can be relatively inexpensive.

So what are you waiting for?

Prior to this year what I knew about the battle of Gettysburg you could put on the head of a pin. I did know that it occurred during the Civil War and it was some sort of key battle. I knew that Lincoln delivered the famous Gettysburg address from Gettysburg during the war. I knew that the Union forces won. But there are so many significant stories as a result of the bloodiest battle ever on American soil.

I had the good fortune to attend a 1 ½ day leadership learning opportunity last week. http://www.lincolnleadershipinstitute.com/. Steve Wiley is one of the highest-octane and energetic speakers you will ever hear and together with his associate Angela Sontheimer, the metaphorical lessons of good (and not so good) leadership are explored around the events of July 1-3 1863.

Surely you are familiar with General Robert E. Lee the leader of the Army of Northern Virginia. But I venture a guess that unless you are some sort of Civil War historian or buff (it seems to me that there are a good many people that are) you would not know the story of Col. Joshua Chamberlain leader and hero of the 5th Maine regiment. Nor did I know anything about other essential figures involved in this pivotal battle of the Civil War – a battle that can be argued changed the face of American and world history. Generals James Buford, James Longstreet, John Reynolds (why do all their names start with the letter ‘J’ I wonder?), are just some of the key players. Perhaps you have heard of the battle of Little Round Top, or Pickett’s charge – perhaps not.

There were more than 51,000 casualties as a result of this battle – many of them in intense hand to hand combat. The courage displayed by so many makes me proud to be an American. The decisions both good and bad teach so much about effective communication and listening to those around you.

Michael Shaara’s great book ‘The Killer Angels’ is a wonderful depiction of the battle of Gettysburg. For those more inclined to watch than to read – the TNT mini-series/movie (4 ½ hours) entitled ‘Gettysburg’ is a fair and true representation of Shaara’s book.

As Gettysburg readies to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the epic battle in 2013 I highly recommend you take time to learn more about what was a seminal battle in American history. It represents a time before electricity, computers, cars, airplanes. You can learn so much – my wife and I did. And keep in mind one of Steve’s quotes that I have been hearkening back to – ‘Listen until it hurts’. So many of us want to show how smart we are and as a result we don’t really listen. Joshua Chamberlain really listened to those around him – and it can be argued that was the reason the North won the battle of Gettysburg.

The housing news of late continues to be dire for the most part. There are some indications that the bottom may have been reached as some areas of the U.S. are experiencing an actual uptick in new and existing home sales – some of this attributed to low interest rates but mostly due to depressed prices.
Having been an aficionado of Amazon’s recommendation system for years I wondered if the real estate market could ever adopt an organic recommendation system.

At first thought it did not seem like such a bad idea. I envisioned prospective home buyers visiting homes for sale and commenting on what they liked and what they did not. A homebuyer recommendation bulletin board could prove to be helpful for other prospective buyers having access to information on the house itself, the surrounding neighborhood, the schools and their proximity to the house itself, size of rooms etc.

But then I thought again. What home seller would want to allow strangers to come into their house and then write about what they saw? A home is a very private thing and the way it is decorated and kept is a truly personal decision. A comment like ‘The pink bathroom was awful and what were they thinking about when they put in the light fixtures in the kitchen??’ Or ‘needs a new roof and a paint job as well’ In fact I surmise that the lion’s share of comments would be negative since if a buyer was truly enamored of a house why would they want to put up information that might draw MORE buyers and therefore MORE competition, (remember the good old days of bidding wars for houses back in the 90’s and early 00’s?).

Platforms like Facebook and Twitter allow for community conversations about a myriad of subjects. Restaurants and other PUBLIC spaces seem to fit well with recommendation systems. Private homes and private car sales should and I expect will never fall into that kind of scrutiny. And that’s a good thing.

What do you think? Could it happen? Will it happen?